Trying to find a new “normal”

Whew. Well, the trip was absolutely exhausting, and I felt pretty bad through most of it. Shane’s and Cyprian’s coughs have pretty much subsided, but mine seems to have settled into some sort of respiratory something. I am hoping it will go away but Shane is threatening to make me a doctor’s appointment.

Shane and I did end up having ice cream with our friend at Ashley’s in New Haven. I couldn’t decide how I felt about it–this is not the kind of diet in which you reward yourself; cheating just slows down your own healing. But it is also hard when I am wanting to heal my gut for our future babies but I have no idea what that feels like because I don’t have any obvious symptoms. If I got a stomachache each time I cheated, that would be different. Anyways, I felt a slight sugar rush but it was fine. We gave Cyprian his first banana with some sun butter. He has enjoyed having bananas again but is not obsessed with them the way he used to be, which is great.

Sunday night we stayed with some friends in Greenwich and Shane and I just ate the Indian food she got, including some naan. It was good, and it was so nice to not have to stress about what to eat. Then on our looooong drive home (I-95, the bane of all interstates), Shane and I just ate at Panera. One of the salads I got was probably decently GAPS-legal (I am sure the bacon was cured with sugar, but whatever). The quinoa lentil bowl I got later wasn’t (and it wasn’t the best, either…I should have gotten the salad again). Anyways, we only really had enough food left for Cyprian, who was very happy to eat soup and beef patties and broccoli. What a sweet boy. So, we were flexible. And it was such a relief.

Since getting back we have been pretty faithful. Shane has decided that he is going to have some cheats, and I am totally fine with that. He doesn’t seem to need any gut healing and the important thing is that we are united in trying to do it with and for Cyprian. If I don’t feel better soon, I may start having some soaked oatmeal or something to see if that helps my body.

Cyprian had white beans for the first time tonight at dinner when our housemate made white bean-carrot salad. I was SO thankful for the extra starchiness of the beans, but Cyprian got hives after dinner. 😦 I am not sure if it was the beans, or perhaps the raw onions greens, which he hasn’t really had before. Two hives appeared on his face right before bed, after I had given him a magnesium salt bath to try to draw out toxins. Sigh. It is so hard not knowing! I guess I will try again with white beans tomorrow and see if it provokes the same reaction.

Cyprian slept SO badly during our whole trip, which made us all exhausted. He has also been waking up a lot to be changed because he has a sore in his underparts that stings. Last night he slept until 5:40. I try to make him not nurse until 6:00 to try to train him not to wake up so early. Of course he was very upset, but while I was in the bathroom Shane went in and slept next to him on the floor and he slept until 7:30! At that point he zoomed into the kitchen and said, “Sausage? Dinner?” And then we didn’t nurse! It was the first morning ever of not nursing. I am hoping this is starting us on our journey of weaning; not that I want to lose that with him, but I am feeling that it is time, and my supply is running out. It will be an emotional time for both of us.

Shane got a call today to pick Cyprian up after his nap because his teachers think he has pinkeye. Sigh. Of course! So now he has a doctor’s appointment in the morning. I was relieved to see online that most pinkeye just goes away without treatment (viral), and Shane said that his teachers mentioned drops, so I hope that if he has to have antibiotic that it is just drops and not anything oral that will get into his gut and slow down his healing.

I am overwhelmed by all the things I need to do: Make more kraut! More ginger carrots! Soak all the seeds! Soak all the nuts! Lentils! Ahh! I am trying to just do a few things a day. Today I made coconut butter bread for Shane and me for the morning–ooh la la, looks good! And I made raw brownies out of pecans (oops, cheated, didn’t soak first…oops), cocoa, salt, dates, and honey. Le noms! And I toasted seeds. Tomorrow so much more to do…but one step at a time!


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